August 7-9 2009 Petersham, MA Daughters of the earth.

My voice is not for microphones

My voice is not for microphones
it is for the soft humming undertones
bringing peace in the rhythm
through me to you

For praying in the dark
when clarity flows
speaking into the void
with bliss not fear

My voice is respect
for a teenage girl
while other shy away
or thrust burdens of their own

My voice is for heartache
crying out in notes

My voice is for the trill of laughter
bubbling giggling joy and love
That of a 3 year old child
on top of a piano
singing old time music
to old time people

My voice is for children
in play and in truth

My voice is for hope
not for any one outcome
but because you and I are here
alive in this moment

It never wanted you to have to hear
the things that would disturb you
but when it learned to speak of them
it no longer could stay shut

Still my voice is not for microphones to give your ears a choice
the quiet calm can be ignored
the whispered bliss passed by
yet in your choice I find no need for stilling of this voice

When my voice is on a microphone it feels like I am shouting
and most days I prefer my quiet voice
to wait for you to find me
to see if you'll wait and wonder
and want to know what's next
-Liz Swenson

Daughters of the earth is a women's retreat weekend organized by a woman named Alisa Starkweather.
She is an energetic woman who is dedicated to Women's empowerment. http://www.alisastarkweather.com/

The story of how I got to meet her is kind of interesting.
One night in like January/ February 2008 I took myself out to dinner, and ran into my friend Diane. She said "you're coming to the red tent right?" I had no idea what she was talking about.
She said something about it being a really nice thing for women and that it was relaxing and there would be soup. I said I had homework to do for a class. She said I didn't have to stay that long, and then was pretty much was insistent that I come. So I did.
There was the nice relaxing part with the soup and hugs for those that felt comfortable and then the part where the women got together in a circle and talked. The topic was the women in your ancestry, and how they impacted you. My grandmother was one of my favorite people in my life, and even though she died when I was little who she was still impacts me (see my post from before the vegas trip). Having people listen to me speak about that certainly got my attention.
I had to leave early because I did have homework, but there was this one woman named Joonu who I had wanted to talk more with. I wanted to go back, but the things was never there again, and I didn't see Diane for a while because I was busy with stuff. However about 3-4 months later Joonu showed up at my church. I stopped and asked her and found out how I could get back to this event.
I've been going pretty regularly ever since. It gives women a space to just be, and to be listened to about what is important in their lives and who they are. Alisa is the women who started these things she calls them red tent temples.
I can't tell you how many people I've met because of them, and the good things I've gotten from knowing the very cool women that I do. Some people come to the red tents for healing. Some come for the quiet place to find strength. Some people come because they know that being in community allows you to find strength and be supported when you need it and give when you can. For me that last one has been really nice. I'm really good at giving support, and it's nice to have people who support you just by existing and being there. it's like you don't have to feel needy in asking for things, because people give what they can, and take care of themselves.

I actually wrote the poem at the top at one of the red tents, and a good portion of it is about my experiences at them.
The line about praying in the dark came from the sweatlodge at this daughters of the earth.
this was the frame. there were probably 30 women inside with steaming rocks in the middle. Lushanya Echeverria ran it, and she spoke about how in her family tradition the rocks are our ancestors, so heating up the rocks and then pouring the water is like breathing in the essence of your ancestors. I loved this because when you think about it, it is entirely likely that if you live in the same area, the rocks contain electrons or molecules that were part of bones of some ancestor of some sort.
The sweatlodge was one of my most memorable experiences.
They also had a drum circle held around a fire, and we were given the opportunity to design things in flour on the outside of the dance track before hand. For me it was like making a giant flour mandala. I LOVED that. However flour around a fire circle is a difficult medium to work with.
I made a very nice heart, and other women contributed other designs. It was incredible.
I was a little overwhelmed by all the excitement and spent certain portions of the drum circle just laying in the grass on my back and looking up at the stars.

The next day involved more workshops and great people. There were 5 main temples as the called them
the air temple
the fire temple
the water temple was a red tent temple, and was indoors so I did not get a picture.
and the earth temple.
And the rainbow temple
the first four are more in line with pagan traditions as to what the elements mean, but the rainbow temple is more about diversity and brining things together. it was always my favorite. Maybe because i was huge rainbow brite fan as a little kid or maybe because bringing people together is kind of one of my favorite things.

there was also a medicine wheel which was a very peaceful place to be

It was a very jam packed weekend full of possibilities of thigns to do and people to meet. I went by myself, so everything was new and I was a little overwhelmed by the possibilities and wanted to do EVERYTHING. At one point i had a headache and just needed to go for a walk because it was almost too much.

I think part of the reason it has taken me a year to catch up my blog is because making enough sense to talk about all the stuff that was happening can take time. One of the challenges I came across coming here was letting go of trying to do everything at once, and really paying attention to where I was in the moment and what I needed, or needed to be doing right then. It helped me get away from preconceptions of what I should be doing, and just do what it was I was doing, as well as be clear in my choices as to why.

There was one other thing that happened. Alisa does this thing called breathwork. I don't want to try and explain it here, but it was incredibly powerful for me. the thing lasted an hour long, and can bring you to emotional places. At one point someone came over to me (I think it was Alisa) and whispered in my ear "Breathe it is your birthright" I cannot say how important and helpful that was. I have always had allergies, and as a little girl they would get so bad that I would end up in the hospital in oxygen tents with bronchitis. Sometimes it hasn't always felt like breathing was my birthright. I have to say this past year it felt like my allergies were better, or if I got a sinus infection it healed quicker because I was able to trust my body more to right itself. It's been really nice.

I wish I could have gotten a better picture of the fire circle mandala, but I love that the mandala for this was co-created, and so big. It is fitting.